Some principles stand the test of time. They are the truths that hold firm no matter the context, industry, or era. They are the foundations you can return to when things get complex or uncertain. While strategies may shift and tools evolve, these timeless truths remain constant: guiding decisions and anchoring you when everything else feels in flux.
“Every negotiator has two kinds of interests – the substance and the relationship.”
In any negotiation, you’re not just dealing with numbers, timelines, or deliverables – you’re dealing with people. Substantive interests refer to the tangible outcomes: pricing, contract terms, delivery dates. Relational interests speak to trust, respect, reputation and the long-term working dynamic between parties. Ignore one at your peril. You may win the deal but lose the relationship, or maintain harmony but fail to secure value. Skilled negotiators balance both – understanding that a sustainable agreement requires attention to both the deal and the human behind it. If you have to make sacrifices in one of these then make sure it’s the substance because building and keeping relationships is priceless.
“For a negotiation to progress, both sides have to accept from the outset that no-one is going to get 100% of what they want.”
Negotiation is not conquest – it’s convergence. Progress happens when both sides walk in understanding that compromise is part of the deal. If either party is chasing a total win, the conversation quickly devolves into a deadlock or power struggle. Setting realistic expectations from the start fosters flexibility. It helps people shift from rigid positions to shared interests and creates the psychological safety necessary for creative trade-offs and problem-solving.
“In B2B negotiation there are no friends, there are only interests.”
Even when rapport is strong and conversations are friendly, B2B negotiations are ultimately about aligning interests – not building friendships (do not confuse friendships with effective working relationships). People are there to represent business outcomes, stakeholder goals and commercial realities. This doesn’t mean being cold or transactional. It means staying clear-eyed. Emotional attachments or assumptions of loyalty can cloud judgement. Instead, focus on understanding the other party’s drivers and constraints and make sure your own interests are always clearly defined and defended.
“Remember that if you are looking for an ally, one will appear. If you are looking for an enemy, one will appear!”
This is a mindset principle – and it’s powerful. The lens you bring into a negotiation often shapes the outcome more than the facts on the table. If you approach the conversation with suspicion, defensiveness, or the assumption of conflict, you’ll likely trigger that energy in return. Conversely, if you enter with curiosity, openness and a problem-solving frame, you’re more likely to find partners than adversaries. People reflect what they receive. Your posture becomes the tone of the negotiation.
“Most people do not mean to be dishonest or irrational. What you usually see instead is egocentrism, social pressure, and hidden constraints or motives.”
What may seem like bad faith is often just human complexity. A stakeholder might change their position, go quiet, or push back hard – not because they’re being deceitful, but because they’re under internal pressure, managing competing agendas, or unaware of how their actions are being perceived. Great negotiators stay curious. Instead of assuming ill intent, they probe for what’s beneath the behaviour: Who else is influencing this? What are they afraid of? What aren’t they allowed to say out loud? This lens leads to better questions, better empathy and ultimately, better deals.
